How to address microaggressions and when to withdraw

Microaggressions are defined as racist insults, slurs, and derogatory statements made verbally, behaviorally, or environmentally towards a targeted individual or group which are hostile, demeaning or negative. They occur in every aspect of African American lives and workplaces. Ignore it, bring it up later, or call it out right away–these are the choices for your response.

Here is a framework for selecting the best course of action and handling the conversation should you decide to have one. First, decide what matters to you most. The second step is to neutralise the offender by indicating that you want an “awkward” conversation. Thirdly, before discussing consequences ask them to explain their words or actions.In order to do this first decide how you want the situation influence your life.

Conversations about racism, justice, diversity equality and inclusion are finally taking place in workplaces and around the world. Conversely, this is encouraging news that ought to make individuals and organisations take significant anti-racist moves. However, such talks will definitely not sit well with some people. This is true not only for white employees and leaders who may be confronting their privilege for the first time but also for people of color especially Black Americans who know that being open with peers would mean either confronting or calling out “microaggressions”.

These instances where someone says something offensive unintentionally (or on purpose). This occurs when one person makes a statement that is insulting or hurtful inadvertently (or willingly). Also, microagressions can be defined as verbal behavioral environmental belittling racial slants against certain individuals. Meanwhile, they exist throughout black people’s everyday personal life and work environment. The following seemingly unimportant comments within racist presumptions and preconceptions could be understood as quite harmful:

• "I don't see colour when I look at you," (indicates that the other person is unaware of your race or won't hold it against you.)
• "The human race is our only true race." (implying that your experience is the same as that of persons of other races while being Black)
• "You are very well spoken." (indicates that Black people are typically unable to hold a coherent, intelligent discussion)
• "You have enormous hair today, I notice! Are you going to the client meeting wearing it like that?" (indicates that naturally curly Black hairstyles are not appropriate)
• "Success in society can be achieved by any individual through hard work." (indicates that inequities in outcomes for Black people are due to laziness).

As suggested by its name, microaggressions are minor offenses which can cumulatively result into a less satisfying employee experience, physical damage and psychological stress. Indeed research shows that subtle forms of discrimination like micro-aggressions may be equally painful with overt forms.

Microaggressions compound white privilege and undermine inclusive culture. The best solutions are of course to raise awareness of microaggressions, demand that non-Black employees stop making them, or expose offenders. However, if those changes do not happen—knowing that perfect prevention might be impossible—what should black workers and managers, in both minority conversations at the work place and without, do about the microaggressions they experience? There are three main possible reactions:

Let it go. For a very long time the most common typical default response was to ignore disrespectful comments made at work. It can be hard emotionally because they are so common and sneaky. However, silence also burdens black employees emotionally. They are left puzzled as to what happened and why, doubting their legitimacy of being upset and further reinforcing notions that their identities are susceptible to devaluation in the workplace.

React immediately. In this way, the mistake is pointed out while everybody still remembers what happened. In this way, the mistake is pointed out while everybody still remembers what happened. Quick remediation of bad behavior is important for such cases too! However, there is some danger in this strategy. The victim may feel as though they “lost control,” did not present themselves in the best light, were interpreted as being overly sensitive complainers by other people who while on the defensive would brand them trouble makers or just an angry black person.

React later. A more reasonable approach would be to explain how offensive micro-aggression was to him or her privately after sometime had passed since then. The risk with this is that there will be a time lag in this situation where ‘the person who made it’ can help remember what was meant by it in a follow-up conversation after having recalled it himself/herself). As for example: Remembering something said like ‘you mean nothing by that’ but which reminds you all over again why you don’t want to work here.’ Petty is how the Black employee who brings it up will appear, as though they have been holding on to ‘small things’ or just carrying a grudge while the other party has moved ahead after meaning no harm. These claims are a form of racial gaslighting, which can be deeply harmful.

To determine what you should do in any given situation and to make sure that if you decide to speak up, you steer the conversation well, we suggest using this framework:

Decide. How much effort are you willing to expend in addressing the microaggression? Rather than feeling compelled to respond every time, feel empowered and react when you see fit. From this incident what does this mean for your life and career? What will be taken from you by this contact and what are you going to get out of it? Blacks already face discriminatory expectations and evaluations at work, as well as other marginalised or intersectional identities’ bearers. It is difficult enough when such little things irk people. Defending your happiness can be the best form of resistance yet may require much strength.

Consider. The importance of the issue and connection Do not avoid it if one or both matter. Show that you care for the person involved when defending yourself.

Your feelings. Authenticity of your reactions may be doubted due to microaggressions. If you are angry, sad, mad, annoyed, confused, shy, tiredness or any other emotion let yourself feel them. Whether you should respond and how or when should decide on basis of how you feel. It is often better to defer addressing the situation than dealing with one that involves significant negative emotions such as anger while immediate response may be preferred where confusion prevails. When you are simply tired out by the stresses that come from being black at work, it is best to let go thereof since this applies to you not the offender.

What impression do you want to make now and in future? Both speaking up and keeping silent have negative consequences. It’s up for grabs which weighs more in a particular circumstance.

Disarm. Prepare yourself to disarm the perpetrator if you opt for confronting a microaggression. We don’t talk about race here because people become defensive among many reasons. Those who perpetrate microaggression constantly fear looking racist or even worse, being revealed as racists themselves. You can tell them that what they only said or did might have been difficult for them but it wasn’t comfortable for me either. So taking into account why they behaved like that ask them to sit by your side within their words/actions awkwardness.

Defy. Ask the offender what was meant by his/her words/actions  Inquire directly, “Tell me just what do you mean?” People get an opportunity for self-assessment as they go through their actions during this time period of investigation though it then enables one establish better grounds behind such behavior of his/her opponent given these facts related to him/her.A lot of microaggressions hurt without meaning so much.The reason behind this is that being privileged is great because one does not have to know it.One of the best things about being privileged is that you don't have to be aware of it. Know that you accept their intention as they’ve stated but shift the discussion to impact of the microaggression on you. Recount your original interpretation and why you had it in that way. Remind them that while you acknowledge their willingness to state what they meant, if they persist in “didn’t mean it like that” then they should understand your desire to explain how their comments have affected you.

A Word of Encouragement for All Non-Black Allies

Being an ally is not easy. You will make mistakes while learning, and will always be learning. Some advice for those who have experienced being accused of microaggressions or counseling someone who has done so can also be given.

Remember that affect does not override intent. While realising their experiences’ importance for me try to comprehend these experiences without making them accountable for my betterment. It is therefore important that you listen to your black colleagues who choose to come out as black. and also you probably had a hand in making it.

Although more organisations are now embracing open dialogue on race, we must not forget discrimination against blacks who speak up as witnessed in the past. Culture change takes time and effort. Consequently, whilst we encourage timely and well informed discussions about microaggressions, it remains personal how anyone reacts to slights accordingly with their own personas and self-concepts.